Tuesday

I have a huge sense of regret today that I have not been able to document Storey Mae’s first three months in writing. It has been a beautiful three months that I wish to remember forever. I have resolved today to try and record Storey’s day, if for no other reason than to remember the details. There are days we both do not get dressed until the late afternoon, and I do not have a free hand to brush my hair, let a lone sit down at a computer. Let this be a promise to Storey and to myself that even on days like these, I will write even just a sentence about our day.

Today Storey was propped up in her boppy with a blanket tucked in around her neck to keep it up.

Her neck is getting stronger by the day, I just know it. But until she can keep it in place without it bobbing up and down, we will use the blanket. I had her sitting on the bed while I put clothes away. I had set her bunny rattle on her lap to see if she would take any interest in it. Sunday afternoon, on our successful car ride back from Medina Lake for Easter, I sat in the back seat with her, and Storey tried so very hard to grab this rattle. I could tell she was thinking about it. She would even let out shrieks and grunts of frustration as her arms just could not follow though yet. At the end of the 45 minute car ride, Storey had successfully grabbed the rattle, held on to it, and hit herself in the face.

We were both ecstatic. It was a good day. A good first Easter.

This afternoon, Storey was able to grab the end of the bunny’s ear and lift it for a few seconds. I don’t think she was as happy with this, but I was beaming. Josh was here to witness this on his lunch break. We will practice again tomorrow.

After Storey finished eating this afternoon, I stood her up on my tummy by grasping her chubby belly. She absolutely loves this. Sometimes I think she is going to just get up and start walking any day now. Her legs are so strong, and she is so happy to be standing up

 like Mom and Dad do. I can see how proud of herself she is in her eyes. They beam. While Storey stood on my belly beaming, I became really sad. I guess the thought of her walking all by herself got me thinking that she wil

l not always be this heart-breakingly innocent child. She will someday have her own thoughts that will lead to actions that will lead to an effect, whether positive or negative. While I am so eager to know who this child will be, what will make her happy, what she is curious about; I am sad she will lose her pure innocence and her faithful dependence on me.

I think I could just keel over with love for this baby. I have moments of such intense emotion, that I think I could explode or start crying. I thought I understood Love; I have no idea.